The 3 Dodos and the Dancing Teacher

We moved to Lakeshire from a small rental house about the time I turned 4 (1957). By modern standards it was not a 'high end' community but back in the day the houses were about double the size (and price) of the average home - it was definitely upscale.
There were roughly 40 homes in Lakeshire at the time with fields on either side and woods behind. There was only one way in or out (a road with large stone 'Lakeshire' signs on either side). Everybody knew everybody - and I would even go further and say that everybody knew everybody's business as well :-)

We had our own 'police force' - one of the homeowners was a retired policeman with a marked patrol car, a badge and a gun. I don't know how 'official' he was, but everybody had his phone number and if you saw anything suspicious he'd be there in a couple of minutes. And during holidays he parked the patrol car by the entrance and made sure nobody 'unauthorized' got in. He did it all mostly at his own expense and we were quite happy to have him.

But by now I bet you're wondering what any of this has to do with dodos and dancing teachers. I'm getting there :-)

The kids in Lakeshire had some 'interesting' money-making schemes. (It seemed to be a neighborhood tradition.) It wasn't normal stuff like lemonade stands. It was more like mock fashion shows, magic acts, weightlifting exhibitions ("I will now lift this poodle with one hand!") and RC boat races in the back yard pool. They'd hand out fliers and sell admission tickets and pretty much all the kids attended all the events - that was part of the tradition.

And that brings me to the subject of this blog.

"The 3 Dodos and the Dancing Teacher" was the brainchild of my sister Kathy, and her friends Sandy Pullman (who lived next door) and Debbie Wester (who lived 2 doors down). It was supposed to be a slapstick comedy about a dance school, but the real comedy turned out to be the planning and execution.
The only thing they did well was make up the fliers and sell the tickets - it went downhill from there. They argued about everything and by the morning of the performance all they had was some costumes and props. There was no script (not even a plot) and they had casting problems - all three of them wanted to be the dancing teacher and they were short one dodo.
So instead of spending the day coming up with a script they continued to argue over who was going to be the dancing teacher. Sandy relented but neither my sister or Debbie would give in.
And Sandy's little sister was supposed to be the 3rd dodo but she refused so I got roped into it at the last minute. Since all I had to do was act stupid and trip over stuff I was eminently qualified for that roll :-)

The play was scheduled to start at about 3PM behind Debbie Wester's house. (We did it there because her parents weren't home.) And my sister and Debbie still hadn't decided who was going to be the dancing teacher.
We stalled as long as we could but the audience (about 20 strong) was getting restless, so the play started with Sandy and I stumbling around going "Duh! ... Duh!" while Debbie and my sister argued over who was the dancing teacher. I guess it might have been funny for about thirty seconds but it got old real quick and the audience started turning. (Apparently there was a limit on how much an event was allowed to suck and we exceeded it.)

Now if any of you ever stage a backyard play here's a very important bit of advice:
Do not put the audience by the fruit trees. That's an exceedingly bad idea.

The fruit started flying, I got hit in face with an apple and went down. When the audience saw me on the asphalt bleeding they panicked and scattered. It took a couple of minutes for me to recover enough for me to walk home. I don't remember the exact words my sister used to explain to my mom that I was playing a dodo and got hit in the face with fruit, but I do remember the bewildered expression on my mom's face as she tried to follow along :-)

So, the girls all got in trouble (nothing new there), I recovered from my injuries and life went on in Lakeshire...