Shoelaces

It just occurred to me that I should do a 'wrap-up' on kindergarten before I move on to first grade, so here it is:

I was looking over my old report card and for the most part my grades were pretty good...

I got an 'A' (meaning 'always') in most things - including "I keep my hands off others" (Patty better have failed that), "I practice good manners" (despite the 'musical chairs' fiasco), "I can hop", "I put on and fasten my coat" and "I know the standard colors" (apparently I was not dinged for the 'black grass' incident). I even got an 'A' in "I know left from right" (must have guessed - I still have issues with that.)

I got an 'A-' (meaning 'not quite always') in a few subjects - like "I follow directions" (no big surprise there), "I rest quietly" (must have been that table kicking thing), "I can skip" (I prefer to gallop instead), "I can march" (didn't stop me from spending 6 years in the armed forces) and "I can print my name" (I think I sometimes drew letters backwards - probably a left-handed thing).

BTW - I started kindergarten right about the time they stopped trying to force lefties to use their right hand. I was really thankful for that. It causes all sorts of developmental problems and I had more than enough of those already :-) But I digress...

And then there was "I tie my own shoelaces"...

I got an 'S-' in that... Since 'S' stood for 'sometimes' I guess 'S-' probably meant 'occasionally' but I think Mrs. Brinkmann just couldn't admit defeat - I should have gotten an 'N' (for 'never') because I simply didn't get it.
It really became a major issue near the end of the school year because I was the last holdout - every other kid in the class had mastered it. (I remember this big wooden shoe thing with big fat laces that everybody practiced on.) After Mrs. Brinkmann couldn't teach me she had her assistant try and when that failed she had some of my classmates try, and then she told my parents and my mom and sister tried - it was hopeless.

So everyone finally gave up and I invented my own method of tying shoes. And I've been doing it ever since... (It's kind of a double knot and it's a pain to tie and untie so I mostly just leave my shoes tied loosely and slip my feet in and out...)

And here's the really bizarre part: There have been times in my adult life when I've said to myself "This is just ridiculous" and I got my wife or kids teach me. And then my brain erased it... Yes - I suffer from complete 'shoe tying amnesia'...

Since Google finds no other results for 'shoe tying amnesia' apparently it's not a recognized disorder. (Maybe they'll name it after me.)
Einstein reportedly suffered from the same thing but a lot of people think that's a myth - probably why the disorder doesn't have a name... I mean, how could a somebody that smart not be able to tie their shoes. It's ludicrous, right???

So I've spent decades writing software that finds bugs in computer chips before they start manufacturing them... And while doing that I went to law school and passed the bar exam.

And I still can't pass kindergarten shoe tying... :-)