One Liners

OK -not everything in this post is a "one liner"... It's a collection of memories from St. Paul's High School in Winnipeg - things that stuck in my mind for whatever reason... They probably reveal something about me - I just don't know what :-)

During my freshman year a handful of other students and I were in the classroom after lunch and the conversation got around to a classmate name Rick Pangman. Now, Rick's most obvious characteristic was his abnormally round and large head - followed closely by his obnoxious personality - and a lot of harsh criticism ensued. The conversation ended when Jim Dubois said "Hey - I like Pangman... He has a neat head..." GYHTBT. (Guess you had to be there.)

Geography class - sophmore year... We were studying the northern territories up near the arctic circle... Our first year teacher asked "Why do men go there?" Nobody answered - even after the question was repeated. Finally the teacher said "Come on! Somebody must have an idea..." The response: "Eskimo women???" (Usual disclaimer applies...)

I'm pretty sure it was in Geography class that Totten Heffelfinger climbed up on his desk to retrieve part of his pen that had gotten stuck in the acoustic ceiling... (Don't ask...) His explanation: "I need it to take notes."

Also in that Geography class - another student and I were alternating making a chirping noise from opposite sides of the room. For obvious reasons the teacher was going nuts trying to pinpoint the source... He finally picked a kid out of the middle of the room and sent him to the Vice Principal's office... Yeah - we felt bad about it ... but not bad enough to confess :-)

Here's the final one liner (ok - maybe it's a two and 1/2 liner):
It involves Shapera (aka Shopsy). He's the kid who who got into the "You're nuts! / What about them?" exchange with Peter Paolucci...
One day during Math class the wind was gusting pretty hard - It got really loud at times... At one point the teacher (Mr. Dawson) stopped his lecture and said " Shapera! Would you mind turning your head a bit? The wind is whistling through your ears"...

That reminds me - Shapera was one of very few students who carried a briefcase. (Most of us just packed our books under our arm...)
So we used to play "pass the briefcase"... Someone would snag it from next to his desk during class and every time the teacher looked away pass it to another student. The goal was to put it in a far corners of the classroom and then bring it to the teacher's attention... That segued into the "OK - who's briefcase is that?" game :-)
Yeah - I know that it sounds mean, (OK - it was mean) but Shapera was (and probably still is) an incredibly good-natured person. If it had really upset him we probably wouldn't have done it ... quite as often :-)

Speaking of teachers - our freshman classroom was right next to the door to the rectory (which was attached to the school). You could see a pool table through the door and smell the beer... Yes - the Labatts beer truck used to make regular deliveries out back - and on Monday mornings the priests emerged from the rectory pretty much reeking of it. Hey - they were Canadian priests - Eh?
Yeah - if I had to teach us I would have spent the weekends getting snockered too :-)

My final story:
One day during lunch I was watching some of the students playing ice hockey on the outdoor rink behind the school. Since nobody (including the goalie) was wearing any protective gear there was a strict "The puck stays on the ice" rule...
Curt Little (the kid who knocked me out in a fight at the start of my freshman year) was playing goalie for one of the teams when an opposing player had a "senile moment" and launched a wicked slap shot at him... Now - Curt had amazingly good reflexes. But the puck was really flying... Curt ducked his head to the left as the shot went past - and everyone breathed a sigh of relief... Then he collapsed on the ice in a pool of blood...

The puck had grazed his scalp - the amount of blood pouring out was horrifying... Now - I should point out that despite our fight Curt and I got along just fine. And seeing him go down like that literally made me sick to my stomach. (I've obviously never forgotten it...)
He was quickly rushed to the doctor and I was relieved to learn that - except for needing 20 stitches - he was fine... I guess my main takeaway from the experience is that head wounds tend to bleed a lot :-)

And I'm finally getting near the end of blogging about Winnipeg... It was after we left that life got really interesting...