A Quick Step Back

I just realized that I there was something that happened in Eugene sometime around November of 1972 that I'd intended to write about but inadvertently skipped in my haste to get to story of my enlistment:

One day mom saw a notice about an open discussion on alternative living (or something similar) that was being held in a room at the University of Oregon on a regular (monthly?) basis and decided we should go. And since we didn't have a car at the time she asked this guy we had met to take us down there. (This is not in any way relevant, but he looked exactly like the standard portrayal of Jesus. Seriously - people used to stop and stare at him on the street).

As it turned out, the regular participants in the open discussion were residents of the surrounding communes (40 or so) who didn't have the slightest interest in talking about astrology or spiritual energy which really pissed my mom off because her sole reason for going was to be the "center of attention" and she wasn't... But that's not what this post is about :-)

Aside: For some reason there were no chairs in the room... I'm not sure if it was because the "commune folk" considered chairs to be conformist or oppressive or what - but we all had to sit on the floor.

Another aside: I probably shouldn't mention this, but (as usual) I will anyway...
There was an attractive young blond woman with an infant straight across from me and at some point during the evening she prepared to nurse the child in a manner that was the opposite of discrete. (Women are usually trying to collect beads when they do what she did.) I really didn't intend to stare but it caught me totally off guard. And I must have had an unusually goofy expression on my face because she was clearly amused by my reaction... Yeah - it's one of my more vivid memories :-)

At various times during the evening there were discussions about how hard it was to get anything done in a commune when everyone was involved in the decision making, so maybe a smaller group should be set up for that... And there had been a fire at one of the communes and nobody knew what to do about it so they discussed having people trained for that... And another commune had problems with people coming onto their property and stealing stuff so they figured maybe they needed someone to handle that... They also talked about setting up a system for teaching their children, and methods for managing the crops and ensuring everyone got a fair share... And it went on and on...
To summarize: After deliberately rejecting all of society's norms and conventions these people were concluding that what they really needed was a town council, fire department, police department, schools, a regulatory structure and a system of taxation... And oddly enough, none of them saw the irony! I was on the verge of laughter all evening - it was just too funny :-) ... But that's not the point of this post either...

At some point during the festivities one of the men told a story (he insisted it was true) about a woman that had shown up at his commune... But first, I should warn you that this is yet another one of those things that nobody but me thinks is funny. So I'll tell it anyway:

The woman (who was around 40 years old) had arrived one day in a new BMW with California plates. She was impeccably dressed and wearing expensive jewelry, and without saying a word she handed them her car keys and a bunch of cash... And over the next few days she began to settle into their daily routine - smiling and occasionally nodding in response, but always maintaining silence... They were (understandably) curious, but figured she had her reasons and decided it would be best to respect her privacy...
Then one evening a few weeks later they inadvertently stayed out in the field too late and when they got inside to fix dinner it was already dark and nobody could find any matches to light the candles (they had no electricity). And after a few minutes everyone was in a total panic and the kids were crying, and that's when the "mystery woman" reached down into her cleavage and pulled out a flashlight...
After expressing their gratitude they inquired as to why she had a flashlight down her blouse. And her response (the first words she had spoken to them) was: "Well, don't you know??? ... I'm the usher!"

Don't say I didn't warn you :-)