Della - Last Part

Once again, the topic is a girl named "Della" (I don't recall her actual name) that I knew at Keesler AFB while I was attending ATC Radar Repair school in 1973.

I probably shouldn't tell this story, but it's one of my more interesting memories so I will anyway:

One day Della invited me up to her place up in Hattiesburg to ride her horse... Now - horses really aren't my thing (they're big, stupid and they fart a lot) but I figured what the heck (it gave me a chance to hang with Della). So that Saturday morning (a very hot and humid day) I headed north out of Biloxi in my '68 Barracuda convertible. By the time I arrived Della was already in her "riding outfit", which happened to be a skimpy, bright orange bikini... Now - I had seen her in some pretty revealing outfits before, but nothing prepared me for the sight of her in that bikini.

After I was able to breathe again we headed over to the pasture. Della didn't own a saddle (always rode bareback) so we used a fence to get up on the horse (Della in front and me behind) - and it didn't take long to discover that when two people are on the same horse (bareback) it's pretty much impossible to maintain any space between your lower torsos (you tend to slide together). I also quickly realized that in order to maintain my balance I needed to put my hands somewhere and the only thing available to hold onto was Della. I considered asking her "Where would you like me to grope you?" but I decided against it, and finally just placed my hands gently on her waist (I figured that was the safest location - a good distance from the "naughty bits"). She didn't react to my touch so apparently it was a good call.

To summarize:
There I was, sitting on a horse behind a beautiful 16 year old girl in a skimpy bikini - my hands on her bare waist - both of us hot and sweaty - her long blond hair brushing against me in the warm breeze... Furthermore - our nether regions were pretty much "spooned" together and the movement of the horse was causing some rather interesting sensations - and it occurred to me that if I were to become aroused she would immediately become aware of it. Since I really didn't want her asking "What is that poking me?" I did my utmost to distract myself from what was one of the most fascinating experiences of my life up to that point. (I thought about cars, sports, the obese lunch lady from the 6th grade - anything I could come up with to keep myself from fully appreciating the ride.)
I honestly don't remember how far we went (like I said, I was trying not to think about it), but afterward we spent the rest of the day driving around and hanging out - and by the time I headed back to Biloxi that evening it was clear that Della had no romantic interest in me (no need to go into details). Whatever she was feeling, she didn't consider it to be "love".

Aside:
On my way back to Keesler I ended up driving through rural Mississippi after dark - and there was something about the way the trees looked in the moonlight that totally gave me the "willies"... (It was almost as bad as driving through the bayou at 1AM - but that doesn't happen until later.)

Final story:
Della was constantly pestering me to let her drive my Barracuda (especially that day in Hattiesburg) but I kept explaining that (a) she did not have a learner's permit so it would be illegal, and (b) if something happened (regardless of whose fault it was) it would cause us both a crap load of trouble...
Apparently the message didn't sink in. There was another GI in my dorm bay whose name I shall not mention (initials were DH) who owned a Chevy Vega GT (one of the worst cars ever made) and he was completely infatuated with Della.

Aside: I almost never think of guys in terms of what they look like (I don't roll that way), but DH was short and squat with thick glasses and an overbite - I'm pretty sure he would be considered "unattractive" by anyone's standards, and I suspect that Della only let him hang around because of all the attention he lavished on her...

So - one weekend in the fall of 1973 DH drove his Vega up to Hattiesburg to spend the day with Della. And early that evening he called the dorm to have one of his buddies come pick him up. When he got back (without the Vega) he was covered in bruises... Yes. Della had talked him into letting her drive...
Apparently they were going around a curve and an oncoming car was slightly in their lane. Della overreacted and drifted onto the gravel shoulder then over-corrected trying to get the tires back onto the pavement (a classic rookie mistake). The end result was a totaled Vega. Luckily, nobody was seriously hurt, and DH got away with claiming he had been driving so Della didn't get into trouble.

Another aside: I still remember the apprehension on DH's face as he explained to me and Juneau what had happened. He was clearly aware of how protective we were of Della and was (rightfully) concerned that Juneau (who had a volatile temper) might pound the living sh*t out of him :-)

Although Della did the planet a huge favor by destroying that gawdawful Vega (one less POS cluttering up the universe) I was really angry with her for ignoring the voice of reason. (I just hope it taught her something.)
That whole incident happened shortly before I left Keesler so I never had a chance to discuss it with her - and once I moved on I never really looked back... That's why I was so surprised to discover that telling the story was taking 3 posts.

Now that that's finally over I can move on to more interesting and amusing subject matter :-)