Pianos and Plays

Believe it or not, I failed my audition for the Waldron choir. That was a bit of a shock given that my mother was an opera singer - I apparently didn't inherited her voice... I was never sure what went wrong, because I'm definitely not tone deaf. Maybe I just sucked... :-)

So I took piano lessons instead. I wasn't a prodigy or anything, but I learned at an early age that by varying the attack, sustain, timing and damping of the notes you could make a piano express just about anything you wanted it to. The real trick is getting your 'brain' out of the way - otherwise you end up just 'playing the notes'... Not that I was that great at it - but people invariably commented on my technique.

Of course, I had an amazing instrument to practice on - when we moved to Philadelphia we bought a new baby grand piano for the living room (about the price of a new car). That thing was simply magnificent... And I had my mom to help me. I don't recall if I've mentioned this before or not but I couldn't really read music - I played 'by ear'. When I had to learn a new piece I'd just have mom play it a few times while I memorized it... I was in a number of recitals - I've always loved playing any kind of instrument in front of an audience.

BTW - Later I switched to guitar and that completely hosed my piano playing... My hands became convinced that their movements had to be synchronized - that kind of limited what I could play - Boogie-woogie was out - "Chopsticks" was still good :-)


And then there were all the school plays. I've never once in my life had a speaking part... I've always been part of the scenery. That's very tricky stuff - you have to know when to walk on - where to stand - and when to walk off. I was really good at it!!

In the 4th grade I was a Christmas bell. I had to wear a gray leotard with a big red bell cutout pinned to the front. I think I had to say "Ding! Dong!" with the other bells, but onomatopoeia doesn't really count as a speaking part.

And in the 5th grade it got really strange... The teacher's vision could not be 'realized' without 4 girls in the play. One was Dutch, one was Irish and I don't recall the other two. They didn't have to speak. They just had to stand there (actually, there might have been a few simple dance steps)...
Now, the fact that Waldron was an all male school led to the funniest moment of the whole affair: The teacher actually asked for volunteers!! As if any 10 year old boy in an all male school would raise his hand for that...
So she picked 4 of the usual suspects - the honor students. It was me, a couple of the other kids from that winning 4th grade relay team, and my best friend Robert... We asked her why she picked us and she said "You are the only ones who are mature enough to handle it." (True, but still unfair...)

And as fate would have it, I ended up playing the red-haired Irish girl...
If you've been paying attention you should (by now) be keenly aware that I've always had an abnormally strong attraction to redheads. I can't explain it - it's been that way since my earliest memories. I just kind of forget to breathe when I see one :-) And now I had to 'be' one. It just made the whole thing extra strange...

My costume was a green Irish folk dress - kind of like those 'Riverdance' outfits. And my mom came up with some petticoats and a long red wig... By all accounts I was quite fetching as a red-haired girl. And everyone was highly amused by the whole thing - especially my classmates.
I only have vague memories of the play itself - but I do clearly recall how very disconcerting it was to feel air movement around my "tighty whities" as I walked. I felt quite 'unprotected'. And it wasn't until afterward that I found out that the petticoats belonged to Paulette's younger sister Karen. She had been wondering where they were and was somewhat horrified to learn that I'd worn them...

But I survived the event without any major psychological trauma ... and I never performed in drag again :-)