Assiniboine Park

There are places that, for whatever reason, have a deep effect on us at some point in our lives... Special places that provide us with enjoyment, comfort and sometimes even solace...
For me, Assiniboine Park in Winnipeg was one of those places. It's a huge park - about 1000 acres - and within its confines are the local zoo, a variety of gardens, a conservatory, a duck pond and an amazing Tudor style pavilion...

Spring comes late in Winnipeg - and when it comes it assaults the senses. It's as if all the trees and plants sense how short the summer will be and burst into full bloom overnight. After the long dark winter the transformation is stunning. And no place in Winnipeg is more beautiful that Assiniboine Park... Here's a picture of my sister Karina there in 1967:


The park was only about 3 miles from our Grant Avenue apartment and Peter Paolucci's house was about half way there. I almost always "hoofed it". Sometimes I'd stop by Peter's house and we'd continue on together - sometimes I'd just go by myself.
BTW - I was working pretty hard on fitness at the time - I was even taking a "Charles Atlas" course to bulk up a bit :-) It was actually pretty effective - before too long I was doing pushups in multiple groups of 50... And when I was heading to the park alone I'd try to run the whole distance - with limited success - I was much better at sprints than marathons...

But after being cooped up inside all winter it was simply wonderful to get out and breathe the warm air. And it didn't take much time at the park to forget everything that was bothering you. Sometimes I'd just stand there on the footbridge over the Assiniboine River and watch the water drift past...

OK - here are a few stories. They all seemed really funny at the time, but maybe you had to be there :-)

First - I don't recall who all I was with (Peter, Phil, Paul?):
We were standing in front of the bobcat cage at the zoo and there was a big "danger" sign on it. Frankly, the bobcat didn't look like that big of a badass to me... So I was making typical 13 year old wisecracks about how I could kick its butt - that I'd seen house cats that were bigger and tougher - when a voice behind me said "I can put you in the cage with it if you'd like..." One of the zoo keepers had been standing there the whole time... I didn't take him up on his offer... It was a bit embarrassing :-)

Second - I'm pretty sure I was with Peter this time:
There was a large prairie dog community at the zoo. One of the prairie dogs was sitting up next to his hole looking around and I tossed him a piece of popcorn. The little critter didn't see it coming and it bonked him right in the head... He sat there looking puzzled for a second or two, then threw his head back, let out a long howl and fell onto his back - as if he'd been mortally wounded. He played dead for almost a minute...
It was just so unexpected - the most extreme over-reaction I'd ever seen. - I didn't stop laughing for 15 minutes :-) Everyone was giving me strange looks - nobody else thought it was that funny. Of course - that made me laugh even harder... Maybe you had to be there :-)

Finally - there's the mustard story:
Peter and I had placed an order at the pavilion snack bar and had gotten our napkins and condiments and were sitting at a table waiting for our food. That's when Peter decided to test the bursting strength of a mustard packet... He started out very gingerly thumping the packet with his first while we both shielded our faces - no telling which direction the contents might fly :-)
Over a couple of minutes he gradually increased from thumping to pounding to darn near driving the packet through the table... And the ultimate conclusion was that there was no amount of force that could be applied with the human fist that would cause the packet to burst - and that was a simple immutable truth :-)
So the mustard packet remained temporarily forgotten - sitting there on the table as we enjoyed our lunches (hotdogs?)
BTW - that was around the time they started making potato chips that were not merely "potato chip" flavored. I vaguely recall that they had "salt and vinegar" chips at the pavilion. I'm not 100% certain about the flavor but I do remember thinking that the "non-standard" chips were quite excellent... But I digress...
At some point Peter noticed the packet again and lazily dropped his right fist onto it - with far less force than he'd been pounding it just minutes earlier. And the contents found a new 'home' on his left wrist...
Now - you had to see the look on Peter's face. It was priceless - total shock and bewilderment - as if a fundamental law of nature had just been violated :-)
It was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen! ... Well - I guess I am pretty easily amused... Maybe you had to be there...